I’m feeling something shifting in my understanding of my way of life. This morning as I woke, I had the familiar thoughts (and accompanying dread) about a clambering to-do- list, “OVERDUE” flashing relentlessly in my skull. Then, for unknown reasons, I suddenly shifted away from that story.
It was a story about, “Get there. You’re not there yet.” This morning I thought of my day more like a farmer looks at farm chores, “Up and at ‘em. These are just the daily efforts that support my life.”
This is a story about “I’m here. This is my life.” And, somehow, even though I have lots of plans and dreams for the future, the feeling of ‘not yet’ is diminished and my ability to notice and savour what I already love in my life is awakened.
Here I am on my little ‘farm’. I have some gardens going, some harvests going, some weeding needed, and I have ideas for new fields and crops (which will mean putting in time plowing and planting). I may need to do some repairs to the house, the barn, the fences; and I’ll have to pay the taxes. But the sun rises and I arise and meet the day in the here and now.
I’m not catching up to my dreams. I’m living and cultivating them. The cycle of growth cannot be hurried; and – while we love the harvest – the imagining, the planning, the plowing, planting, and cultivation are beautiful, fulfilling and great fun in their own rights.
There may be stables to muck, but that means there also are horses to ride – and my life is about cantering and riding the trails.
There may be tilling and waiting, but that means there is fertile soil and there are seeds germinating – and my life is about growth and harvest.
The sunrise will return and I’ll have the day.
It is my choice whether I see the day as ‘demanding drudgery’ or ‘adventure beckoning.’